Eminem's latest hit was incredible
Getting to Know…Steven O’Reilly (Smackers)
With only 2 days to go until the main day of Varsity begins (cricket have already put us 1-0 up!) Getting to Know brings you yet another fantastic interview; this time with the skillful Steven O’Reilly.
First year. Winning 1-0 and going out at Keele’s Union. But then I got kicked out for stealing drinks….ah good times!
Funniest player:
James Ireson and myself on a Thursday morning when we’re still drunk from Gobble, ridiculous conversations flying around. Every other day of the week its got to be Ben Antcliff…just look at him!
Best first touch:
Me! I’m like Zidane, but with hair. An absolute genius on the ball… I can’t stress that enough.
Worst first touch:
Steve Johnson. Next question.
Most likely to get sent off:
Mikey Law, he’ll probably get sent off for being drunk and disorderly. I mean it is his birthday!
Most nervous before Varsity:
The skipper James Ireson. I live with him and he’s sweatin just thinkin about it. Also, I think he may be more nervous about how he looks for the girls than how he plays.
Most likely to trip over whilst walking onto the pitch:
Chappers p*ssed running from the stands to come and celebrate with us when we win 7-0.
Johnson vs Anthony Weldon (Diggy) if all goes wrong at the back. Close fight as well, don’t know who to call on that one.
Most likely to get booked for swearing at the referee:
Dan Calliste – that gangster thinks he’s so cool with his foul language and rude gestures…is disgusting.
What are you most likely to do in Varsity:
Well I’ve sort of planned a first half hat-trick. a volley from outside the box, a free kick and an overhead – bar and in. So I mean thats pretty likely…I did shotgun it.
Who would you least like to spend an evening stuck in an elevator with:
Probably James Smith. He’d be smoking herbal remedies in there which I completely object to, and I bet it smells horrible.
Ireson has been practicing his celebration for years...but has never been able to use it.
Getting to Know…James Ireson
Meet Men’s Football club captain James Ireson. The pacey left winger talks about his desire to score the winning goal, pints flying across stadiums and becoming a University legend.
Favourite Varsity moment:
Favourite Varsity moment has to be when Keith Lupton scored the winner two years ago, and myself and Fergus McIntosh decided to take our tops off to celebrate only to be hit with a full pint in the chest by some disgruntled Keele fans, was a priceless moment.
Funniest player:
Funniest player to look at is Ben Antcliff because he must be joking with that hair but I’d have to say Dan Royal is probably up there as the funny man of the squad.
Best first touch:
Best first touch I’d probably give to myself or Smith-dog (James Smith), but we are quite similar in footballing attributes so there’s not much between us. Seve Stagg loves to control a ball as well though, but we did learn that down at Plymouth Argyle so he is always going to have great feet.
Worst first touch:
Worst first touch is Brad Clark without fail, I think its because he wears red boots.
Most likely to get sent off?
Most likely to get sent off probably is Steve Johnson. On his form I can see a horrifically timed challenge as the last man, sorry mate!
Most nervous:
Most nervous probably Smithy – That guy always looks like he is worrying about something, he needs to chill out a little bit!
Most likely to trip over when walking out to pitch:
Alex Richards will definitely trip over walking on to the pitch just because he tries to flick is way through life!
Most likely to fight:
Most likely to fight will be Oli Bennett – little man syndrome! The foreigner gets so angry on the football field.
Most likely to be booked for swearing:
Fergus has a reputation for getting himself in trouble with the officials for dissent so definitely him to get booked for swearing! Newman’s away first year ring any bells?
Thing you are most likely to do at Varsity:
What I am most likely to do at Varsity is come off the bench and change the game. I’ll probably notch the winner cutting in from left midfield, nutmegging the full back, opening up my body and bending a right footed peach into the top corner. The crowd will go wild and I will lift the trophy, forever going down as a Staffordshire University legend, not that I have given it much thought.
Who would you least want to be stuck in an elevator with:
I’d least likely to be stuck in an elevator with probably big Keiron Connolly – nothing personally but what do have in common? The guy is Stokes answer to Eminem – safe.
Getting to know…Fergus McIntosh (Men’s Football)
The self confessed worst drinker, poser, pretty boy, big time, ladies man, Mr. Vain, naked boy…I’ll just tell you. Ladies and Gentleman, meet Fergus McIntosh.
Best Player:
An extremely difficult question as the team is full of talent but I would probably have to say big Dan Calliste. One of the best shot stoppers I’ve ever seen. I will stop the compliments there though. If that boys head gets any bigger he won’t fit between the sticks.
Worst Player:
Although he may not actually be the worst player im going to have to go with Alex Richards purely because of the outside of his right boot and that hop or skip or whatever it is after every shot.
Best Drinker:
Michael Law… FACT! That boy funnels sambuka for breakfast.
Worst Drinker:
I was going to go with Sefa Atay on this one as he cant drink anything except for VKs, but after recently losing to him in a boat race im going to have to say… myself! With Oli Bennett a close second (come on who holds there nose when drinking beer?)
Most Vain:
Well… I think there can only be one possible answer to this question. There is one player in the squad who can’t walk past a mirror without looking at his beautiful reflection, stands in the union tensing his arms, kisses girls because they remind him of himself and spends most of his spare time topless… this player shall however remain anonymous.
Most Big Time:
Don’t get me started… walks around like he owns the place, doesn’t shut up about how good he is, never trains, always injured, only in it for the life-style, most big time Charlie anyone has ever met… everyone obviously knows who im talking about… yep you guessed it…
Oli Bennett
Most Unskilful:
Obviously I don’t want to upset anyone with this answer so im going to say Steve Johnson… I mean he can’t even do three kick ups…
Pig Puller:
Its got to be Keiran Connelly, right?
Womaniser:
Easiest question yet… Ben Antcliff no shadow of a doubt! That boy got game!
Worst Dancer:
Discovered not that long ago in Hanley on a Saturday night… Steve Johnson, just wait till you see… I promise you, he isn’t even joking!
A mention must go to Brad Clark though… mate, Bennett says you’ve got no rhythm.
Worst Dressed:
Steven O’reily (Smackers) what is he thinking… mate… John Travolta isn’t cool anymore!
Most likely to mess up at Varsity:
Steve Johnson… his confidence is pretty low right now.
Varsity Score Prediction:
4-0 Staffs… James Smith (Smithy) with two, Law with one in off the crossbar and Dan Royle with the pick of the bunch.
Getting to Know…Severiano Catindig-Stagg
The man with the busiest name in Staff’s Uni takes time out of his fitness regime to talk all things Varsity.
Best drinker:
Maybe not best, but funniest is Ollie Bennett. He will never live down holding his nose while trying to down a VK in the first year. Only thing funnier than that was Ash trying to down a VK through a straw!
Worst Drinker:
Daniel Calliste…….half a small bottle of Stella and he forgets his name and speaks in a really high pitch voice.
Most Vain
Smackers (Steven O’Reilly) definitely takes a lot of pride in his personal appearance, often seen sporting silver Nike shorts or tight crotch-baggy legged jeans in the LRV.
Most Big Time:
Tough one, there are a lot of people who are very confident in our team. Did I ever tell you I used to play for Argyle……………..?
Most unskilful:
This would have been James Ireson, but in training recently he has turned the corner and has more tricks than Paul Daniels at the moment.
Pig Puller:
Bennett for trying to pull Ben Antcliff with the answers in his interview!
Womaniser:
Ferg, with Ollie a close second.
Worst Dancer:
Johnson has some of the most horrendous steps ever, your dad wouldn’t even do them drunk at a wedding!
Most likely to mess up at Varsity:
Maybe Kieran Connelly……he’s always dizzeee blud.
Most likely to score:
Probably Ferg, I think he has been saving up all his shots for Varsity because he has been scared to use them most Wednesday apparently.
Loudest Players:
We don’t really have to many talkers, maybe Johnson, Sefa and myself. But listen out for Ben and Diggy (Anthony Weldon) when they make a tackle or header, they grunt like Sharapova at Wimbeldon! And Brad has a voice that booms like thunder as well!
Varsity score prediction:
3-1 to us. Though I would like a clean sheet so Calliste can do his dance.
The girl I pulled was this big!
Getting to Know…Oli Bennett (Men’s Football)
Meet Oli Bennett. The Isle of Mann ex-international who plans to tear Keele apart drops in to speak about cheesy dance, terrible training and his hope for a female streaker.
Best Player:
It’s a strong squad this year so this ones hard, either Antcliff or Diego, but Antcliff bullys me and has sh*t hair so Antony Weldon it is!
Worst Player:
All im saying is I hope Keele dont have a quick right winger! Although even im quick compared to Ireson .. well maybe!
Best Trainer:
Steve Johnson seems to always train hard with his good physique and all that
Worst Trainer:
I’d have to go with Sefa, just for the fact I havnt seen him train yet!
Best Drinker:
When Mikey Law drinks, he drinks. Gets in some states that lad.
Worst Drinker:
For a big lad it doesn’t take much for Dan Calliste to get drunk. Although the boys would probably say me as I drink beer whilst holding my nose. (The Oli Bennett)
Best Dancer:
James Ireson. Cant help but love the cheesy dance moves. Bit of Girls Aloud and Five and he’s in his element.
Worst Dancer:
Brad Clark…no rhythm.
Funniest:
Ben Antcliff is a funny, funny man, even if I am the butt of most of his jokes.
Favourite Varsity Moment:
Last year’s crowd banter was class. Staff’s fans absolutly dominated Keele and that’s what we need this year. Plus, a woman streaker would go down well, as opposed to the fat fella’ last year.
Score Prediction:
4 – 1 . Goals from Smithy, Law and Ferg double. In the unlikely event that I score, be prepared for a special celebration.
Getting to Know…Adam Taylor
The Welsh wizard of Men’s Rugby chats about disturbing mother comments, steriod abuse and compares himself to one of the greatest singers of all time.
Best Player:
Sam Winchcombe, our chairman, has been in the first team for the last three years and is an outstanding scrummager and cornerstone of our pack. Grant Hallam is also in some fine form despite reported steroid abuse and dodgy tattoos.
Worst Player:
Christopher ‘Sackey’ Kolapo. Awful ego, awful haircut, no girls in a very very very long time. Tries too hard to be like myself way too much.
Best Trainer:
Rhys ‘Keano’ Denham gives it his all to the disgust of others a lot of the time. Varsity captain Mark ‘Tarzan’ Thorne also deserves a mention despite recent disturbing comments regarding his mother.
Worst Trainer:
A lot of us could win this. I think myself and Oli Taiwo can be known to be a bit lazy. Sackey can also sit out with a fake injury now and again.
Best Drinker:
Barry Lloyd. The states that kid has gotten in over the years are the stuff of legends.
Worst Drinker:
James ‘Cooksey’ Parkes. One or two down him and he’s on his way home.
Best Dancer:
Without a doubt, 100% Oluwabusayo Babafemi Taiwo. The best I have ever seen but does not help him at all with the girls.
Worst Dancer:
Gareth ‘Basil’ Alred. Very uncomfortable and cringeworthy on the floor.
Best Singer (added by himself):
Adam ‘Marvin Gaye’ Taylor
Longest in the shower:
Daniel ‘Barrington’ McMurray
Varsity Prediction:
I think it will be such a tight affair and our defence will have to perform like never before. Down to the wire with Staffs winning by 3.
Special Mentions:
Grant Hallam for taking his shirt off at every opportunity and Jimmy Carter for being everyones hero and the pride of Ashbourne.
Worst player:
We dont have any bad players to be honest, I have picked a squad of 18 from a possible 33, so obviously they are all excel!
Best trainer:
Kelly Stone. She turns up everyweek and ever session. She helps out A LOT and is truley commited
Worst trainer:
We do have a number of people on the squad who are not turning up as often as they should be, but I don’t need to name and shame…they know who they are!
Best drinker:
Jack Tew. Only by a millisecond in front of Jamie Armstrong! But Jack may possibly be the fastest drinker i have ever seen!
Worst drinker:
I think that has to be me! The whole team are ashamed when it comes to drinking races after the game because, although I can win woman of the match…I have only ever one ONE drinking race 
Best dancer:
Elena Morrison, especially when she is wearing her fury big blue bum and is trashed…she doesn’t half throw some moves about!
Worst dancer:
Dimitri Chambers. He is a superb player, but when he tries to transfer those skills to the dancefloor he begins to stuggle…bless!
Varsity score prediction:
Similar to the last two years…we are going to be in the 20′s and they will not reach 10!!
Anything else you want to tell:
We have a lot of freshers in this game, but they have worked very hard and have fitted in well! Watch out…
If you see him, ask him to dance
Getting to know….Nick Pryce (Cricket)
Cricketer Nick Pryce speaks up about deadly Stella, robotic dancing and a lazy team.
Best player:
Daniel Milligan – tough one, we have a few good players, but Danny can bat as well as open the bowling. Gurjeet Sapal runs him pretty close but i’d never say he was the best!
Worst player:
ha, well in the Varsity team? If he plays Tom ‘Sherman’ Hughes. Terrible bowler, only bowls well when I stand up…
Best trainer:
No-ones a great trainer i’ll be honest…I’d say Craig Johnson.
Worst trainer:
Probs me!
Best drinker:
Jonathan Gibbs, always hammered.
Worst drinker:
Dan Leaton. He’s a fresher and on his first night out he was sick after 4 cans of Stellas.
Best dancer:
I couldn’t tell you, rarely see me anywhere near the dancefloor!
Worst dancer:
Definately Gurjeet Sapal, horrific robot dancing, he thinks it’s good too.
Varsity score prediction?
Never seen Keele play, but their 2 divisions below us so I’d expect to win, put us 1-0 up.
Anything else you want to tell us?
We’re playing indoors because it will probably still be snowing in March. 12.00 at the Sports Centre, come down and support.
Mr.Cool Malcolm expects nothing but a win at Varsity
Getting to know…Malcolm Kandulu
The Men’s Basketball captain speaks up about “Jonny time”, his aura on court and how Staff’s will thrive off the crowd.
Most Skillful:
That’s a difficult question because in basketball it’s all about the moment and collectively we have all got our skill patterns but, both our point guards Cyrille and Yaung should get the credit. Edu and Dani also break defences.
Best player:
Me Ha! Nah, I would say the team as a whole is best together.
Laziest player:
I used to be at the start of the season as I thought it would just fall into my palms. I would say Edu and Danni get the blame because of their defensive efforts.
Biggest Ego:
I’m the captain and need to get the team motivated so when I walk out on the court I try my best to have the aura hoping it rubs off to my players that they should be self confident. But some players are in their own world, they would kill me but it has to be between Dan S and Jonny, but in a good way!
Best Trainer:
Semi-retired Eric “the coach” Wright. He brought back 7 plays, and as much as we only remember a few, we still know them.
Best Dancer:
Jonny Chandler, dude got his moves! Then Cyrille and Dan Sargeant try but nothing beats “Jonny time”, expect to see it after he scores!
Worst Dancer:
Dani Delgado, dude never does anything when out, just sips whatever and leaves.
Varsity score prediction?
It’s hard to predict but with the crowd behind us, we can take it 80-70. It should be a close one, but it’s at home and we are on form.
He's big, he's round, he bounces off the ground...Dan Calliste!
Getting to know…Daniel Calliste (Men’s Football)
The goalkeeper who has number 99 on his back drops in to talk about himself, other people, but mainly himself.
Most skilful:
I would say myself being this year’s skill school champion but other than me it’s got to be Smackers (Steven O’Reilly)
Biggest Ego:
I would say myself but looking back that I’ve known one lad leaving the LRV at 3am with his football jacket on so I’m going to give it to first team captain Sefa Atay
Best player:
I would say myself but this lad doesn’t like to let people know he used to play for Plymouth and is best mates with Dan Gosling and in my eyes, same league as Dan Gosling so, it’s got to be Severiano Catindig Stagg
Busiest:
Couple of nominees for this one, both playing at the back. Its Johnson and Brad, who is actually doing this interview! Very busy
Worst player:
Hard to say a worst player because the squad is full of talent and everyone brings something to the table. But, this is harsh, Oliver Bennett! Not because he is bad at football but because he went to Amsterdam, smoked no drugs, and slept with no ladies of the night, instead just enjoyed his VK!
Laziest player:
I would say myself! And it probably is me, although Severiano Catindig Stagg is also as lazy as me and I have seen him nominate himself to be on the bench so he doesn’t have to play football!
Varsity Score Prediction:
4-0 to us, Mike Law to score 2, O’Reilly to grab one and Anthony Weldon to score a bolt from 30 yards from left back because he has been trying all season but yet to hit the target! Also, I would put money on Law or O’Reilly to get sent off!
Anything else?
Daniel Calliste will attempt to dribble past the whole Keele team and score! Plus I’m going to get Staffs Uni Varsity XI shaved into my head! Honest.
Cheers Calliste u whopper!